Not My Hair In The Drain

Kat Dove has spent twenty years managing her immaculate home, her separate inherited assets, and her insufferably vain husband, Craig. But when she returns early from a wellness retreat to find an eighteen-inch synthetic blonde hair clogging her custom marble jacuzzi drain, the illusion of her perfect marriage shatters. Craig’s excuse? He blames their chocolate lab, Buster, claiming the dog's groomer must have used a "lightening shampoo".

Instead of throwing plates or screaming, Kat does what she does best: she gets organized.

Armed with hidden micro-cameras, Kat uncovers that Craig’s sacred Friday afternoon "conference calls" are actually weekly hookups with a twenty-five-year-old mistress who treats Kat's tub like a free luxury rental. Refusing to give Craig the loud, messy confrontation that would let him play the victim, Kat meticulously architects a silent, permanent, and highly photographic revenge. With the help of an unshakeable real estate agent, an adjusted water heater, and a pump of body wash heavily spiked with "Cerulean Industrial" dye, Kat prepares to show Craig that hell hath no fury like a woman who color-codes her pantry.

Not My Hair in the Drain is a sharp, laugh-out-loud domestic revenge novel about bespoke plumbing, the power of a perfectly timed real estate listing, and the profound satisfaction of turning your cheating husband permanently, radiantly blue.