He Campaigned On Family Values With His Mistress

Twenty years of marriage, a State Senate campaign, and one pair of red lace underwear left in the guest room.

Scarlet Dixon is the flawless political wife, baking pies, shaking hands, and keeping the secrets of her husband Archer's political machine. When she discovers his campaign strategist's red underwear hidden in her home, Scarlet refuses to scream or cause a scene. Instead, she turns to the campaign paperwork.

Archer has foolishly made Scarlet the sole director of his dark-money social welfare corporation—the same untraceable fund paying for his luxury car, his tailored suits, and his mistress's consulting fees. With the help of a ruthless lawyer who specializes in ruining politicians, Scarlet legally donates Archer's entire $1.83 million war chest to a local farm animal sanctuary. She then traps him in a disastrous rural photo-op where he is chased through the mud by a vengeful goat and a hostile goose. But the ultimate mic-drop happens on live television, where a hot microphone and a perfectly timed legal summons will end his career for good.

A hilarious, razor-sharp short story about karma, campaign finance loopholes, and the joy of a perfectly baked revenge.